Running Great One-on-Ones

Many coaching conversations begin with clients identifying perceived performance issues with employees. However, the real problem frequently stems from absent or ineffective one-on-one meetings. "1:1 meetings, when done well, are to a great working relationship as diet and exercise are to long-term health."

This article provides comprehensive guidance for conducting effective one-on-ones, including a detailed FAQ and slide deck for team training.

A Question

"Is everyone on my team focused and productive? If not, is there something I could be doing differently?"

Erika Andersen, Learning to Learn

A Quote

"Those who make the most of meetings frequently spend substantially more time preparing for the meeting than in the meeting itself."

Jim Collins, The Effective Executive

Teach Your Team to Run Great 1:1s

The presentation is available on SlideShare.

Most people either skip one-on-ones entirely or conduct them inefficiently. Well-executed one-on-ones offer substantial value: they allow employees to manage upward, receive feedback, learn, and remove obstacles. Sparks has trained countless founders on this skill and created resources to help them teach their teams.

What is a 1:1?

• A recurring meeting between subordinate and manager
• Typically weekly, though monthly intervals are possible

Goals of a 1:1

• Establish dedicated, regular communication space
• Managers collect and share information
• Subordinates collect and share information
• Reduce reactive work; promote proactive engagement

Why 1:1s Matter

• Information flows freely within effective organizations
• Subordinates must "manage up" actively; one-on-ones provide the ideal venue
• High leverage for managers: 60-90 minutes of time can enhance performance for weeks
• Scheduled meetings reduce interruptions via Slack and other channels

Frequency

• Begin with weekly meetings
• Andy Grove recommends assessing "task-relevant maturity" (TRM): experience with specific work and prior performance
• If time is constrained, maintain the schedule but reduce scope (e.g., 30 minutes instead of 60)

Duration

• Minimum 60 minutes recommended
• Grove suggests "enough time to broach and get into thorny issues"
• Shorter meetings (15-45 minutes) prove insufficient; substantive discussion typically begins after 30 minutes
• Longer, less frequent one-on-ones beat frequent, brief ones

Agenda Ownership

Subordinates should own the meeting agenda. Rationale: a manager with eight direct reports faces 12 hours of one-on-one time plus preparation. A subordinate invests only 1.5 hours, making them the logical agenda owner.

Preparation

Subordinates should maintain a "running agenda document" (spreadsheet, Google Doc, Notion, etc.) shared with their manager. Between meetings, both parties add discussion items. This prevents forgetting important topics and eliminates interrupting managers with non-urgent matters.

Meeting Content

Brief Status Report

• Present progress on goals, KPIs, and action items in consistent format
• Limit to 5-10 minutes
• Ask managers what information they want reported

Issues

• Discuss potential problems and obstacles
• Highlight any KPIs or goals at risk
• Include project difficulties and interpersonal challenges

Beware Gossip

• Gossip involves "any statement about another made by negative intent" or "any statement the speaker wouldn't share if that person were present"
• Both speaker and listener enable gossip
• "Many people choose to listen to gossip to avoid discomfort of establishing a boundary" (The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership)

Questions

• Ask how work aligns with company objectives
• Inquire about advancement requirements
• Clarify performance evaluation criteria

Performance Feedback

• Solicit feedback on your performance
• Ask managers to rate you on a 1-5 scale (1=poor, 3=meets expectations, 5=exceptional)
• Request specific improvement areas
• Advanced approach: create a performance rubric for monthly discussions

Mutual Feedback

• Both parties should exchange feedback weekly
• Each person identifies one behavior to continue and one to improve
• Builds feedback muscle and maintains information flow

Manager's Role

• Listen, learn, and collect information
• Coach subordinates through raised issues
• Train direct reports on effective one-on-ones
• Grove summarized it: "Facilitate subordinate's expression of what's going on and what's bothering him"
• Monitor performance against goals
• Clearly communicate desired status report information

Reads & Resources

Articles

The Difficulty of Empathizing Up

Ed Batista explores "managing up" through an empathy lens. He notes that "the expression of empathy involves not only comprehending another person's perspective and emotions, but also suspending our own judgments." Whether managing up or down, cultivating "a more empathetic response in general" benefits all parties.

From Twitter

Freeman Dyson on Tool-Driven Scientific Revolutions

In 1993, Dyson observed: "Scientific revolutions are more often driven by new tools than concepts." We're entering a tool-driven revolution in artificial intelligence. Bill Gates declared AI "the most revolutionary technology in decades," comparing it to "the microprocessor, the personal computer, the Internet, and the mobile phone."

Audio

The Complete History & Strategy of Nintendo

Nintendo was founded in 1889, 92 years before Donkey Kong, making handmade playing cards. In a 3.5-hour episode, hosts Ben and David cover Nintendo's complete history. Perfect for those who grew up with Nintendo, appreciate transformative business stories, or enjoy compelling narratives.

Books

Scaling People

Claire Hughes Johnson, former Stripe COO and current board member at HubSpot and The Atlantic, wrote this 400+ page guide on "tactics for management and company building." The book blends practical advice with helpful stories. A standout feature: Stripe used QR code footnotes, a clever touch from the former publisher.

Dice Roll

The Fair Play Deck

This card deck accompanies Fair Play, a book helping couples divide household tasks. The concept sparked an idea: a similar deck for co-founders and management teams, with cards representing major ownership areas (engineering, sales, marketing, design, finance, etc.). Each card designates a single owner. A valuable concept awaiting a creator.

Further Reading

1. Grove, Andy. High Output Management
2. Scott, Kim. Radical Candor
3. Mochary, Matt. The Great CEO Within
4. Meyer, Faith. Job Responsibilities Rubric
5. Kline, Dave. Expectations Template
6. Batista, Ed. Group Dynamics: A Leader's Toolkit
7. Dethmer, Jim; Chapman, Diana; Klemp, Kaley. The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership
8. Evanish, Jason. 150+ One on One Meeting Questions Great Managers Ask